


Who I’m Meant To Be - A Lams Story

by Lilluv



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Modern AU, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-29 23:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 21,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilluv/pseuds/Lilluv
Summary: John Laurens is starting his first year at St. Judes Christinan Prep School of Boys boarding school, and Alex is his roommate. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before I begin, I just want to say that this story covers some pretty controversial topics, and that I mean no offense to anyone in any way from this fic. Anyway, enjoy!

John's POV

I stepped into the Hall D of my new boarding school.

"D-seventeen... D-seventeen..." I muttered to myself as I went looking for my dorm room. "Ah! Here it is!"

I saw the name tags on the door of my new dorm room. The second one said 'Alexander Hamilton'.

"Hey! Are you John Laurens?" A strange voice asked.

"Uh... what...?" Was all I could manage when I turned and looked at him. God damn, this boy was the sexiest person I have ever seen. He had fair skin with long jet black hair, and a really cute smile.

"I'm Alexander Hamilton, your roommate! You can call me Alex" He said to me as he held his hand out for me to shake it. As soon as I did, I blushed HARD. I thought to myself, _there is absolutely no way this man is gay._

I guess I should introduce myself. Hi, my name is John Laurens. I'm SUPER gay. I go to St. Jude's Christian Prep School for Boys. My dad sent me here when he found out I was gay. He's super conservative Christian, and super homophobic. He figured that if I went to a Christian school, he could 'de-gay-ify' me, even though anyone with a brain knows that's not how it works.

Anyway, Alexander reached around my and opened the door to our shared dorm room. He walked in and set his stuff down on the bed on the right side of the room.

"Is it ok if I take the right?" He asked.

"Sure" I said as I walked over and out my bags on the bed on the left. I looked around the room. There was a bed, a dresser, and a desk on each side of the room, a door to the bathroom in the back of the room.

Alex started digging around in his bag until he found his laptop. He pulled it out and started typing.

"So," He said, still typing, "what landed you in the hell hole that is St. Judes?" He asked.

"My dads a conservative Christian, so I've always gone to Christian schools." I told him. There was absolutely NO WAY I was coming out to Alex right here and now. He seemed cool, but if I had any chance of surviving here, I wasn't going to tell anyone I was gay if I could help it. Christians always look at you weird once they know you're gay. "You?" I asked him.

"Oh... a little bit of this, a little bit of that..." he trailed off, looking sad, almost distant. "Anyway, you're a sophomore, right? Let me see your schedule." He said, regaining his light, happy vibe as he reached over to grab my schedule off my nightstand. He looked it over and compared it to his. "It looks like we have the same homeroom, Christian Studies together in second period, and Lunch C together."

"Cool." Was all I could think to say.

"So, it looks like dinner is being served now. Wanna go down to the cafeteria?" He asked, finally looking up from his computer and closing it.

"Sure." I told him, getting up.

"Huh," he breathed.

"What?" I asked.

"The doors don't lock." He told me, while giving me the weirdest look. I couldn't quite tell what it was. Was it... lust?

 _No._ I thought to myself. _There's absolutely no way its lust._

"Oh" was all I could think of saying.

"So, ready to go eat dinner?" He looked back at me, normal face again.

XXX

When we got down to the cafeteria, it looked like the entire school was there, except for a few stragglers, like us, coming in late.

"They're all here!" Someone called from the back of the cafeteria. That seemed to quiet everyone down pretty quickly.

"Welcome to St. Judes Christian Prep School for Boys." An adult near the front of the room started. "My name is Mrs. Johansson, and I am the principal here at St. Judes. The teachers and I are very excited to start our year with you. You are all here this evening so we can go over your daily schedule. Breakfast is served in the cafeteria from 7 to 7:45 AM. Your first class starts at 8. Your last class ends at 3:30. After that, you are to go to your dorms and do any homework your teacher assigns you, and then the rest of the day is yours. Dinner is served from 5:30 to 6:30. You are expected to be in your dorms by 8:30 and lights out is at 9. No exceptions!" She said.

"Geez," I turned to Alex and said, "this place is no joke."

"Yeah." Alex said. "They mean business."

"Now," She continued, "eat your dinner. Talk to your friends. We hope to have a great school year ahead of us. May God be with you."

"May God be with you." The rest of the room repeated, almost robotically.

Alex got up to go to the food line and I followed him. We filled our trays and sat down at a table near the edge of the cafeteria.

"Bonjour, Alex!" Another kid at our table said with a heavy French accent. "How was your summer?"

"It was ok." He said.

"Who's the new guy?" Another kid asked.

"Laf, Herc, this is John Laurens, my new roommate." Alex said. "John, this is Lafayette," he pointed to the French kid, "and Hercules Mulligan." He pointed to the other kid at our table.

"Hi." I said. "Are you guys sophomores?"

"Oui, oui, mon amie!" Lafayette replied.

I looked to Alex.

"He said yes." He replied to my silent question. "Not everyone knows French, Laf." He turned to Lafayette, or Laf, I guess, and said.

Alex, Laf, and Hercules fell into a flurry of conversation that I could barely follow along with. I just sat there and listened to them talk while we ate.

XXX

"How do you like Laf and Herc?" Alex asked one we got back into our room.

"They seem cool." I replied. "How long have you been going here?" I asked him.

"I've went through their kindergarten through sixth grade day school, and then I started coming here in seventh grade." He informed me. "Laf and Herc both started here last year."

"How did you all meet?" I asked.

"They were roommates last year, and again this year, actually, and then they were in my homeroom last year, so that's how I met them." He explained.

"Cool." I said, and looked up at him. He was staring at me with a curious look in his eyes.

"Where did you go before here?" He asked.

"I went to school in Virginia since I started school, but my family moved to New York over the summer, so I go here now." I told him. He didn't need the whole truth if I could help it.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Lights out!" Someone called from the other side.

Alex got up and turned the lights off.

"We'll need to go get our school supplies and uniforms tomorrow." He said. "So don't sleep in too late."

"Ok." I said.

Alex went into the bathroom and changed into his pajamas. As soon as he came out, I did the same. Then, we went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex's POV

I awoke at 6 am, and looked around. I saw John sleeping. He looked so peaceful.

 _And cute._ I thought to myself.

 _No._ I wouldn't let my mind go there. His father was Christian, so he probably was, too. Hell, we go to a Christian school. There's no way he's gay.

Once I got over myself, I got out of bed, took a shower, and went to get dressed.

I rifled through my clothes to look for something nice to wear.

 _To look cute for John._ My mind wandered again.

 _NO!_ I thought. I can't go there!

I ended up picking out a dressy shirt, a nice sweater, and khaki pants. Laf and Herc would approve.

When I glanced at the clock again, I saw that it was 6:30. I went to John's duffel bag and picked out an outfit for him to wear. A gray t-shirt with a turtle on it and some blue jeans was the nicest thing I could find in his bag.

"Wake up!" I called, throwing the clothes at him.

"Ugh." He groaned. "What time is it?"

"Six forty-five," I said. "If we want any chance of getting the good food at breakfast we need to get there early."

He rolled - literally rolled - out of bed, picked up the clothes, and walked to the bathroom.

While he was changing, I couldn't help bet think about yesterday when I first got a good look at John.

It was when we were walking out to dinner.

 _Damn._ I thought. _I could just drown in his eyes._

"Ready to go?" He asked, walking out of the bathroom.

I stared at his chest through his shirt. He looked _hot_ in that shirt.

"Alex?" He asked again.

"Yeah." I said, snapping back to reality. "Ready."

We walked to the cafeteria in silence.

"Bonjour!" Laf said when we sat down.

"Hey." John said, timidly.

"Want to get something to eat?" Herc asked, looking at John.

"Sure." He said, getting up. I glanced at John as they walked away.

"Somebody has a crush." Laf sang after John and Herc walked away.

"Oh, come on." I replied.

"Mon amie, I can see it in your eyes." He said.

I looked at the floor.

"Ha! I knew it!" He said just a little too loudly. People from the tables around us looked over.

"Shh!" I whispered. "I don't need everyone in the whole school to know that I'm bi!"

"Oh, no one will care." Laf said.

"Everyone will care!" I exclaimed quietly. "We go to a Christian school!"

"Most of the people here aren't even Christian anyway." Laf said. "They're parents just send them here to get them out of their hair."

"Yeah, I guess." I said.

Herc and John came back and sat down.

"I guess I should go get something to eat, too." I said, getting up and walking away as John and Herc sat back down.

XXX

John's POV

We finished breakfast and went to the uniform shop.

"What size do you wear?" Laf said as we started looking at the shirts.

"Small." I said.

"Ok, try this on." He said, shoving a collared light blue shirt at me.

I started walking to the dressing room.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"To try this on...?" I said.

"You still need pants." He said. "Come with me."

We walked over to the other side of the store where there was a wall full of khaki pants.

"Size?" He asked.

"Small." I said.

He pulled a pair of pants off the shelf and shoved it into my arms.

"Now go try these on." He said.

I went to the dressing room and put the uniform on. I tucked in my shirt. It fit well. I took it off to go buy it.

"It fits." I said to Laf when I came back out.

"Ok, put that back on the shelf and we'll put the order in." Laf said.

I walked over to a screen in the front of the store and put in the order in for five small uniforms.

"You ready to go get supplies?" Alex said, walking up to us with Herc.

"Yep." I said.

We walked down the hall to the supply shop.

"Find the lists for each teacher that you have on your schedule and collect the supplies on that list." Alex informed me.

I found all my lists and collected my supplies. It blew my mind how organized the place was, how fast it was to find everything on my lists.

"Ready to go?" Alex said when we were finished.

"Uh huh." I replied.

We walked back to our dorm room and organized our supplies to be ready for classes the next day.

"Our uniforms should be delivered by dinner time." Alex said.

"Ok." I said, almost mindlessly.

Alex and I both sat on our beds at the same time and looked at each other.

"So..." Alex started. "do you have any pets?"

"Seriously?" I laughed.

"Oh come on." Alex said. "We're going to be roommates this whole year. Maybe for up to two years after that. I'm just trying to get to know you."

"Ok, umm..." I said. "I always asked my dad for a turtle, and he almost did, but when he found out..." I trailed off. "Anyway, I never got one."

"Found out what?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing." I said.

"It can't be nothing. Nothing is nothing." He replied.

"Uh... that I got a bad grade on a test." I lied.

"No, that's not it." He said.

"I don't need to tell you every aspect of my life!" I snapped.

"Geez. Ok." He said. "We should probably get going to lunch anyway."

We both got up and walked out to meet Herc and Laf in the cafeteria.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex's POV

"Get up!" I said to John as the alarm beeped. "Your alarm has been going off for ten minutes!"

He shot right out of bed and into the bathroom. I can only assume that he was rushing so he wouldn't be late.

"Grab your bag, let's go to breakfast." I smirked when he came back out of the bathroom.

He picked up his bag and ran out the door. I followed him.

Once we got to the cafeteria, we put our bags down at the table and went to get in the breakfast line. I caught a glimpse of his eyes when I did.

 _He's so perfect, with his cute eyes, cute freckles, cute ponytail..._ I dreamed.

"Hey, loverboy, get a move on." Laf said, slapping me on the shoulder.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You were totally thinking about John!" He cooed.

"Was not!" I covered up.

"Were to!" He exclaimed, clearly enjoying himself.

"Alright, I'm not doing this. We're not children." I said and moved on up the breakfast line.

"Come on, mon amie." He said, catching up to me. "I was just playing."

"Were you, Laf? Were you?" I exploded while I slammed my tray down.

The whole cafeteria went dead silent turned and looked at me and the scene I was causing.

"Mr. Hamilton." A teacher came up to me and said, "Come with me please."

John looked at me with a shocked face as I was led away to the principles office.

"Good morning, Mr. Hamilton." Ms. Johansson said as I walked into her office. "I didn't expect to see you as my first visit of the school year."

"Well," I said, "things happen."

"So I heard you had an outburst in the cafeteria today." She informed me.

"News sure does travel fast around here." I murmured under my breath.

"What was that?" She asked.

"Nothing." I replied, too quickly.

"Anyway..." she started again. "We can't be having that, especially not on the first day of school."

"Of course not." I replied.

"Since it's only the first day, I'm going to let you off with just a warning, Mr. Hamilton. But I don't want that happening again." She said.

"Yes, ma'am." I said and got up to walk out.

"May god to be with you." She said as I walked out.

I sighed.

XXX

"Damn, Alex! Johansson's office on the first day of school! That's a new record!" Herc exclaimed when I sat back down.

"Uh Huh." I huffed.

"Je suis tres tres tres désolé, mon amie." Laf said, clearly distressed.

"It's ok." I said to him, then turned to a clearly confused John. "He said he's very sorry."

That made John look even more confused.

"For what?" He asked.

"For provoking... me..." I trailed off, getting lost in John's eyes.

"Dude, you ok?" Herc asked me, pulling me out of my daze.

"Yeah." I said, coming back down to earth. "Just hungry." And I got up to go to the breakfast line.

XXX

John's POV

As I followed Alex, Herc and Laf to homeroom, I could help but think about Alex staring at me at breakfast.

 _He wasn't staring at me, was he?_ I thought. _No, there's no way._ I went back and forth in my head like this all the way to our classroom.

"First day!" Alex said with his sweet, amazing voice, bringing me back to a sudo-reality. "You excited?"

"Sure." I replied. "Let's go with that."

"Good morning, class." A woman with long jet black hair and fair skin said as she walked in the room, five minutes after the bell rang.

 _Great first impression._ I rolled my eyes.

"My name is Ms. Schuyler, one of the three, and I will be your homeroom teacher this year." She introduced herself.

"There Ms. Schuylers?" I leaned over to Alex and asked.

"Yeah." He replied. "We just call them by their first names when they're not around, though. This one's Eliza."

"That makes sense." I said.

In homeroom, everyone just went around the room and introduced themselves - name, how many years here, and one interesting thing about them. The bell rang before we could finish.

"We'll pick this up tomorrow!" Eliza called as we left to go to our next classes.

"What do you have next?" Laf asked as we were walking out of the room.

"Uh, drawing and painting in room four fifteen." I replied.

"That's my next class." He exclaimed. "I'll walk you there."

"Cool, thanks." I said, waving goodbye to Alex and Herc.

"So," Laf asked while we were walking to our next period, "what do you think of Alex?"

"He's cool." I replied. "I like him."

 _More than he knows._ I thought to myself.

"C'est juste une question de temps." Laf said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing." He replied. "We need to hurry up if we don't want to be late."

XXX

First period was pretty much just the teacher rambling on about the different "rules and procedures" of the art room. Nothing too exciting. But second period... that was the class I was dreading most. Christian studies.

When I walked into the classroom with Laf, I was relieved to see that Alex and Herc were already in the classroom. At least the four of us could endure this hell together.

"Welcome to Christian studies." An old(er) man said over the bell.

 _Great._ I thought to myself. _One of these teachers._

"My name is Mr. Dell, and I will be your teacher for this course this year." He said, bored. "Here is your program of studies for this school year, and your required readings." He said as he handed out a paper.

I looked it over once I got the paper. Most of the required readings had the words follow or worship or god in the title.

 _This is going to be a long year..._ I sighed to myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Laf said "It's only a matter of time" to John at the end of homeroom, by the way, if yall were wondering ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Alex's POV

I watched John as he walked into Dell's class. At first he looked stressed and nervous, then he saw Herc and I and looked almost relieved, then he looked stressed again when he sat down.

"Welcome to Christian Studies. My name is Mr. Dell, and I will be your teacher for this course this year. Here is your program of studies for this school year, and your required readings." Mr. Dell walked in and said.

John looked over the paper and sighed.

"Hey, you ok?" I reached over to him and whispered.

"I just don't exactly believe in this stuff, you know?" He whispered back.

"I know the feeling." I told him.

"Mr. Hamilton." Mr. Dell said, glaring at me. "Would you like to inform the class of what you and your friend were discussing?"

"No thank you, Mr. Dell. John and I were discussing a private matter." I told him.

Mr. Dell went back to reading off the syllabus.

"What was that?" John leaned over to me and whispered. "That was very polite."

"To get on his good side, you need to talk like your from the early nineteen hudreds." I informed him.

"Great." He rolled his eyes.

We spent the rest of the class going back and forth like this.

XXX

"How was French class with Laf?" I asked John when we got back to the dorm after classes were over.

"Overwhelming." He replied, laughing.

"Yeah, Laf can be like that." I told him.

"Is it bad that I'm enrolled in french two and I don't know a word of french apart from Bonjour?" He asked me.

"Anywhere else? Maybe." I replied. "But here? Get ready for a year of D's and F's."

"Great." He replied.

I sat down on my bed and pulled out my laptop.

"Homework already?" John asked me.

"Yeah, I'm in AP European English, and my teacher already gave us an essay to do." I told him. "A writing sample, he called it."

"Fun." John said, pulling out his iPad.

"Bonjour, Mes Amies!" Laf exclaimed, bursting into the room.

"Hey, guys." I greeted Laf and Herc as the came and sat on the couch.

Laf gave me a pointed look and then flicked his eyes to John.

I pulled out my phone and texted Laf.

 **Me:** leave it, dude

 **Laf:** why?

 **Me:** what do you mean why?

 **Laf:** you obviously like him

"What are you guys doing?" Herc asked.

"Nothing." Laf and I replied at the same time.

 **Me:** hes prob not gay

 **Laf:** he prob is

"Seriously, guys what are you doing?" John asked.

"It's nothing." I said, putting my phone away and shooting Laf a look.

"So, do you guys wanna watch something?" John asked, looking up.

Again my breath caught in my through when I saw his eyes.

 _I can't do this for much longer._ I thought to myself.

"Actually, we have homework to do." Herc said, walking out of the room with Laf on his heels.

XXX

We went to dinner and sat down with Laf and Herc after we got our food. Spaghetti night. Gross.

I pushed my food around throughout most of dinner, not really participating in any of the conversation.

"I'm going to go get some dessert." John said, and got up.

"You should tell him how you feel!" Laf said as soon as John was out of earshot.

"Laf, I told you to leave it." I complained.

"Oh, come on. He told you today in Dell that he didn't believe in this crap." Laf informed me. "That basically means he's gay. Or at least bi."

"No. Nope. No way." I said, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms.

"You need to tell him!" Laf said.

"I'm not telling John that I'm bi!" I exclaimed quietly.

"Your bi?" John asked, sitting back down at the table. Laf smiled.

"Yes." I admitted.

"Cool." John said, blushing hard.

I spent the rest of dinner with a smile on my face.

 _Maybe I_ do _have a shot._ I thought to myself.

XXX

"So, about what happened at dinner." John said when we got back to the dorm. "There's something I need to tell you."

My heart started racing as soon as he said that.

 _This could go one of two ways._ I thought to myself. _One being very good, and the other being very bad._

He took a deep breath, almost as if he's preparing himself for something.

"I'm gay." He said in a small voice.

It took me a minute to figure out how I should respond. I just hope I didn't come off as shocked.

"Cool." I echoed him from earlier.

"So you're ok with it?" He asked timidly.

"Dude, I'm bi. Of course I'm ok with it." I responded.

We both sat down on the couch, closer than normal.

Suddenly, I had an idea.

"I may be totally off-base here, but, I just have to do something." I said to him.

"O-ok." He stuttered.

I leaned in brought my face very close to his. So close I could feel his breath on my lips. I tilted my head, and we touched lips. It was small and soft, at first. Then the kiss got more passionate, hungry even. He ran his hands through my hair, and I brought mine up under his shirt. Suddenly, he pulled away.

We were both trying to catch our breaths.

"Wow." John said.

"I've been waiting to do that since the moment I met you." I told him.

We looked at each other in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, and then we kissed again. We were both exploring each other, running our hands all up and down each others bodies. We didn't go all the way, but we got really close.


	5. Chapter 5

John's POV

I woke up the next morning and saw Alex sleeping in his bed. He looked so peaceful. Then he started to stir.

"Hey." He smiled when he saw me.

"Hey." I replied, grinning.

"So... about last night." He started.

"Well, there's no denying last night was..." I trailed off, looking for the right word.

"Amazing." We both said at the same time and giggled.

"I do want to be with you, if that's what you want." I treaded carefully, "but we would have to keep it a secret. From everyone. Even Laf and Herc." I told him.

"That makes sense." He replied. "And that is what I want." He came over to sit next to me on my bed and kissed me.

We sat there on my bed making out until Alex's alarm started going off. He got up and shut it off.

"I guess we should get dressed." He sighed.

"Yeah." I replied reluctantly.

We both got up and took turns changing in the bathroom. We got our stuff together for school and walked to the door.

"Wait." Alex said as a put my hand on the doorknob to open it. He grabbed my face and kissed me for a few seconds.

"Now go." He smiled. I smiled back as I opened the door.

We walked down to breakfast with big, goofy smiles on our faces. Laf and Herc noticed as we sat down.

"Did someone put a can of happy gas in your room or something?" Herc asked, looking between Alex and I.

"No." Alex said. "Just a really good morning."

Alex and I got up to get breakfast. He reached over and brushed my hand. I brushed back, then pulled it away. I shot him a look.

"We can't. Not here." I whispered in his ear.

"Yeah, I know." He whispered back. "It's just so hard."

"What are you guys whispering about?" Laf butt in.

"Nothing." We said at the same time.

Laf whispered to Alex, and he went on the defensive.

"Stop asking!" Alex stage whispered. Whatever Laf said got Alex angry.

We went through the breakfast line in silence. Alex seemed agitated.

"Are you ok?" I asked him once Laf walked away.

"Yeah." He sighed. "Laf keeps bugging me to talk to you about... what we talked about last night. And it's not like I can tell him."

"True." I replied.

We walked back to the table and sat down. As soon as Alex sat down, he scooted his chair closer to mine, and brushed my hand under the table. This time, I took it.

Laf seemed to notice, because he snickered and shot a look at Alex. Alex made a face at Laf, telling him to leave it.

We finished eating in silence. It was harder than I thought it would be to eat breakfast one-handed, but I managed.

Once we finished, we put our dishes away and started walking to class. Alex and I were communicating through looks the entire time. I knew we were going to have to get really good at this if we were going to continue the way we were going.

We sat down in homeroom and Laf quickly scribbled a note and passed it to Alex. He read it made a face, then scribbled something down on a new piece of paper and passed it to me.

 _He's asking about what's going on with us. What do you want me to tell him?_ He wrote.

 _Tell him youll talk to him later. We can tell him then._ I wrote back. I passed back the note. He read it, scribbled something on the piece If paper Laf gave him and passed it back to him. Laf made a face and looked at Alex, unsatisfied.

I pulled out a new piece of paper and scribbled down, _meet me in the bathroom by the auditorium at 8._ I passed it to him.

He read it, smiled, wrote something on it, and passed it back.

 _Can't wait._ It said.

XXX

Alex's POV

Eight o'clock couldn't come fast enough. First period dragged on, since eight o'clock was close to the end. I just hoped there wouldn't be anyone there when we met.

"Mr. Hamilton?" Peggy asked.

"Could you repeat the question, Ms. Schuyler?" I asked.

"What was Newton's third law of motion?" She asked, annoyed.

"Every action has an equal, opposite reaction." I answered.

"Thank you," She said, "Now..." She continued, and I tuned out again, thinking of John.

Thinking of him just made my heart pound. His eyes that I could just drown in, his sexy freckles, his thick, curly hair... I blushed just thinking about him.

"Alex has a crush." James Madison leaned over and sing-songed in my ear.

"Go to hell, James." I replied.

"Woah, let's not go there." James said, hurt.

"Whatever, dude." I replied, bored.

I saw the clock get to seven fifty-five, and Peggy got to a stopping point in her lesson. I walked up to her while she was passing out a worksheet.

"Can I got to the bathroom, Ms. Schuyler?" I asked.

"Sure." She said, distracted.

I started walking to meet John in the bathroom near the art rooms. The science classrooms were on the other side of the school from the art rooms, so I had a pretty long walk.

When I got there, I pushed the door open and found a nervous John waiting near the sinks. He smiled as soon as he saw me, his nervousness melting away.

"I was worried you wouldn't be able to get away." He said, grabbing my hands.

"Here I am." I smiled, pulling him into the handicap stall and locking the door. "Just in case." I informed him.

I grabbed his face and kissed him. He was shocked at first, then melted into me. I pushed him up against the wall of the stall and put my arms around his waist. He ran his hands through my hair, pulling my ponytail out.

We stood there making out in the bathroom until we heard the bell ring.

"Shit." John said, looking around.

"Yeah." I replied. "We'd better get going. If we're late to Dell, he'll have our asses."

"Yeah." He said, unlocking the stall and running out of the bathroom. I fixed my ponytail, then followed him out, running to my next class.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex's POV

"Ok. Talk." Laf said as he shut the door to our dorm room after class.

John took a deep breath.

"Ok." He started. "The truth is..."

"We're starting a fantasy football league." I butt in, and John shoots me a look.

"I don't know what you two are hiding," Laf started, "but I'm going to get it out of you soon." He walked out.

"What was that?" John asked as soon as the door was closed.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I just couldn't tell him."

"I thought you trust Laf." He stated.

"I do." I replied. " I just like our secret little romance. It's sexy. Besides," I went on, "the less people that know, the better. If Johansson finds out we're together, she'll expel us for sure."

"Well, ok." John agreed reluctantly. "But we need to tell him soon. And Herc. It'll make our lives so much eaiser."

"Yeah, I know." I replied, taking his hand.

"Sexy, Huh?" John asked, running his hands down from my shoulders down to my waist.

"Yeah." I replied, putting my hands on the small of his back.

He pulled me close and we kissed. I opened my mouth slightly and his tounge slipped in. I pushed him up against the wall and held him there. He pushed on my chest and we rolled over, him pushing me against the wall now. I picked him up and he wrapped his legs around my waist, the same way people do in so many romance movies. I walked down and layed him down on the bed, me on top of him. We broke the kiss and both took our shirts off. We ended up doing it on the bed for hours.

"I can't believe we did that." John said when we finally took time to catch our breaths.

"Yeah." I breathed.

"That was my first time." He said, looking over at me.

"It was my first with a man." He said.

"When were you with a girl?" He asked, sitting up and turning to me.

"Last summer," He started, "there was this girl I had a fling with. She and I got pretty close, and we ended up doing it. It didn't really mean anything to either of us, to be honest."

"Was that your first time?" He asked.

"Uh-Huh." I replied. "Was there anyone you wanted to do it with?" I asked him.

"There was one boy I had a crush on last year. His name was Aiden. He was really cute, and we dated for a few weeks over the summer." He explained. "But, once my dad found out... he forbade me from seeing him. He kept me in the house and only let me leave when he was with me. Then he sent me here."

"Wow. That's really sad." I said. "So he's homophobic?"

"Beyond that." He replied. "There were a few times when he beat me thinking that I was out with a boy."

"I can't even imagine." I said.

"What do your parents think when you came out?" He asked me.

"Well, my mom died when I was twelve, so I didn't even know then. My dad left even before then, so I've been bouncing around between family members ever since. They all seem pretty cool with it." I explained.

"Who sent you here?" He asked.

"My aunt, twice removed." I replied. "She didn't want kids, so she sent me here so she only had to deal with me over the summers."

"That can't be fun." He said.

"Not really, but I think a parent beating you is worse." I said.

"Yeah." He replied, seeming far away.

There was a knock at the door.

"Guys?" Herc called from the hall. "It's almost time for dinner!"

"We'll be out in a few minutes!" I called back, and then whispered to John, "We need to get changed now."

We both got out of bed and got dressed as fast as we possibly could.

I was about to run out the door when John said, "Wait."

I turned to face him and he brushed some hair out of my face then kissed me. When he pulled away, we both smiled.

"Ok." I said, and we both ran out the door.

XXX

John's POV

When we got to the cafeteria, all my thoughts were on Alex, and what we had just done. It was amazing.

"You two are in a very good mood." Herc said when we came out.

"I think I know why." Laf said, laughing.

Alex and I were both beet red with blush the entire walk to the cafeteria. We couldn't help it.

When we sat down, I brushed my leg up against his knee and he put his hand on my leg. I blushed in contact.

"Are you two ok?" Herc asked, watching our faces go through various shades of red.

"We're good." Alex said, looking at me, and I nodded.

We ate dinner in silence, Laf and Alex exchanging looks the entire time. Alex was shooting angry looks at Laf almost the entire time.

Once we finished, we walked back to our dorms.

As soon as the door was closed, Alex and I were kissing again. We ended up doing it again for an hour.

"We really need to go to bed if we want to be able to survive school tomorrow." I said when we finished.

"Yeah." Alex agreed.

I got up and started to get up and get dressed. Alex soon followed. I crawled into my bed, and he followed me.

"Not that I'm objected to this, because I'm really not." I started, looking at him, "but is this a really good idea? What if someone comes in and sees us?"

"Yeah, I guess not." He said, still not getting out of bed.

"That means you should get up." I laughed.

He came over to me and kissed me, then holding me after. He then untangled himself from me and get up to go to his bed.

"Goodnight." He said, smiling at me once he was in his bed.

"Goodnight." I smiled back.


	7. Chapter 7

John's POV

I woke to the beeping of Alex's alarm, and looked over at the clock. It read 5:00. I saw Alex get up and out of bed, and walk over to me.

"Why is your alarm going off this early?" I asked drearily as he layed down next to me.

"I wanted to have some private time with you before we had to get ready for classes." He answered.

"Mm. I like that." I smiled.

Alex sat back up and took his shirt off. He then layed back down and kissed me. I pushed him away and took mad my shirt, then pulled him back and he kissed me again. We rolled around on the bed and ended up spending about a half an hour doing it, and then the alarm went off again.

"What's that for?" I asked, pulling away.

"To remind us to get ready." Alex said, then kissed me and got up to get ready for breakfast. I ran up after him, and pulled out a uniform from my dresser.

We were just about to walk out the door when Alex said, "Tuck in your shirt."

"What?" I asked.

"It'll show off your amazing abs more." Alex smiled while he come over and tucked in my shirt.

"Your award we go to a Christian school, right?" I asked. "Do we really want to be showing off my abs?"

"Is it bad that I like my boyfriends body?" He asked, and I flushed.

"B-boyfriend?" I stammered.

"Petit-Dejuner, mes amis!" Laf called from the hallway.

"He means breakfast." Alex explained while he opened the door and walked out into the hall.

XXX

We walked to the cafeteria, and I was silent the entire time.

 _Boyfriend?_ I thought to myself. _Alex called me his BOYFRIEND?_

"Hey, John, you ok?" Herc asked once we got to the cafeteria.

"Yeah, yeah. Just thinking." I replied, then turned to Alex, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." He replied, then we walked to the corner of the room.

"Ok, so you said boyfriend this morning." I said to him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well," he explained, "I mean I want to be your boyfriend, if you'll let me." He smiled. "I didn't mean to put a label on things, but..."

"Yes." I smiled.

"Yes? Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes." I confirmed, then leaned in to kiss him.

"Uh, John? What are you doing?" Alex asked. "We're in the cafeteria."

"Oh, shit." I replied, looking around to make sure no one was watching. It looked like we were ok.

"Come on, let's go get some breakfast." Alex smiled, walking away.

XXX

Alex's POV

"What was that about?" Laf asked when we sat down with our breakfast trays.

"I just wanted to make sure John remembered to turn the lights off in the dorm before we left this morning." I lied.

"Are you sure?" Laf pushed.

"Of course I'm sure." I replied hardly, shutting the conversation down.

It was silent for a few long seconds before Herc said, "Did you guys do the notes for Dell's class?"

"Oh, shit, I forgot." John cursed.

"Language, Mr. Laurens." Angelica scolded as she walked by.

"Sorry, Ms. Schuyler." He half-heartedly apologized.

"You can copy mine in first period, mon amie." Laf offered.

"Thanks, man." John said.

XXX

I was already exhausted by the time Dell's class rolled around, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with him, or his class.

"Today," Dell started as the bell rang, "we will be talking about the holy abomination that is homosexuality."

John and I exchanged a nervous glance, and I pulled out a piece of paper.

 _Do you think he knows?_ I scribbled and passed him the note.

He looked it over and scribbled something else on it, then passed the note back.

 _No,_ it read, _we've kept it so hush-hush that there's no way he knows._

"The Bible says that a man lying with another man is a great sin." Dell said, walking up and down the rows of the classroom, and I hid the note.

"A great sin," he continued, "that would send a man to hell if he commits it."

It was that point that I tuned him out. I've heard this lecture so many times before from all my studies teachers, that I know it by heart at this point - two men being in a relationship with each other, sexual or otherwise, will send both men straight to hell. I just can't listen to it again.

"Mr. Hamilton." Dell said, pulling me out of my daze. "What do you think?"

"Umm..." I said, thinking. "Could you repeat the question." Dell looked pissed as soon as I said that.

"Can someone please inform Mr. Hamilton What we have been discussing, since he very obviously hasn't been listening?" He said as he turned to the class.

Thomas Jefferson raised his hand and said, "He asked what you think of the sin that is homosexuality."

I looked at John, trying my best to convey an apology, then turned to Dell and said, "Its an abomination."

Dell, looking satisfied, turned around and continued his lecture, while I pulled out another piece of paper.

 _I'm so sorry, John._ I wrote, then passed him the note.

He looked it over, smiled a bit, then wrote something on it, then he passed me the paper.

It read, _Its ok. I would've done the same thing in your situation._ I looked over to him, and he smiled. I smiled back. It was then that I knew that if our relationship could survive this, we could survive anything.


	8. Chapter 8

Alex's POV

"Dell's class was absolute hell today." I said to John as we got into our dorm and closed the door.

"Tell me about it." He replied, sitting down on the couch and patting the seat next to him. I went down and sat next to him

"I hate that man with a passion." I informed him, laying my head on his chest.

"Your preaching to the choir, honey." He said while he ran his hands through my hair.

I picked my head back up and kissed him. He kept his hands in my hair, and I put my hands around his waist, running them up his chest under his shirt.

"Bonjour, mes amies!" Laf said as he burst into the room, clearly not seeing us making out on the couch.

"What the..." Herc said, seeing us.

"I knew it!" Laf said when he saw us, pumping his arms in the air.

We sat up on the couch, and John pulled his shirt back down.

"So, yeah..." John said, attempting, and totally failing, to explain.

"We're together." I said simply.

"Since when?" Herc asked, still baffled.

"Since the first day of school." I explained.

"I'm so happy for you!" Laf exclaimed, sitting between us on the couch and hugging us.

"Congrats." Herc said, clearly not nearly as excited as Laf, but still happy.

I pushed Laf off the couch and scooted back next to John, putting my arm around his waist. He leaned into me, and I to him. The room was silent for a few long, awkward moments.

"Did you need something, Laf?" John asked, breaking the tension.

"We were just going to ask if you guys wanted to go down to the arcade." Herc answered for him.

"Arcade?" John asked, pulling his head off my shoulder.

XXX

John's POV

We went to the front office and signed out of the school, saying that we would be back in at most four hours. As soon as the school was out of sight, Alex grabbed my hand. I pulled my hand away. Alex turned to me with a hurt expression on his face.

"What if someone sees us?" I justified.

"Were not in school anyomore, babe." He said, and kissed me, then grabbed my hand. We both walked down the sidewalk with big goofy grins on our faces.

"You two are so cute." Laf commented, falling back to walk with us, and we blushed bright red.

We walked down a few more blocks to an old fashioned arcade, with a whole bunch of retro style games.

"I dont have any money." I wispered to Alex.

"The games are free to play. It's the snacks that cost money." Alex wispered back to me.

We walked in, and Herc and Laf ran to a racing game where they could compete against each other. Alex pulled me along to a Pac Man machine.

"This is the only game in the whole place that I'm actually good at." He admitted, and pressed the start button.

He beat the first, like, ten levels with ease. I lost count after the first seven, to be honest.

"Your, like, amazing at this." I commented.

"I've had a lot of practice." He said, concentrating on the machine in front of him. "My dad used to take me to the arcade all the time as a kid, before he left. He taught me all the tricks about the game. Ah, damn." He said, when he finally lost his last life.

I looked at the screen. It read, _NEW HIGH SCORE._

"Teach me." I turned to Alex and said. He smiled.

"Ok, so, I assume you know the basics?" He asked.

"I've never played this game before in my life." I admitted, and he jokingly rolled his eyes.

He grabbed my hands and put them on the joystick and button, his over mine. He stood behind me with his head resting on my shoulder. He pressed the start button.

"It's all about muscle memory." He explained, playing the game with his hands still over mine.

We played the first and second levels this way. It was really nice, with Alex pressed up against me, his head on my shoulder, his hands on mine.

"You try." He said, moving his hands just a few inches off to the side, so he could jump in if I started to bomb it.

"Ok." I said, trying the third level.

I beat the level, but only after loosing two lives and making Alex cringe behind me. I could feel it every time I did something he wouldn't have done.

"Good job!" Alex said when I beat it, kissing me over my shoulder.

"Yeah, right." I said after he pulled away. "I could feel you cringing against me."

"Yeah, you did do pretty terrible." He laughed, and I laughed with him.

I then pulled him in and kissed him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He put his hands in my hair.

"The bathrooms lock." He wispered in my ear.

"How do you know that?" I asked, pulling away a little bit.

"Do you really want to get into that now? Come on!" He said while pulling me along towards the bathroom.

We basically ran across the arcade to the bathroom. I locked the door as soon as we got in, and pulled my shirt off. When I turned around, I saw Alex had already taken all his clothes off.

"Were not wasting any time, are we?" I laughed, walking towards him.

XXX

"Alex? John?" I heard Herc call from outside somewhere else in the arcade.

"Oh, shit." Alex said.

"How long have we been in here?" I asked, and Alex checked his watch. His face turned red.

"An hour." He replied, grabbing his clothes and throwing them on. "I'll go out first then you?" He suggested.

"No, no. Let's just go out together. Laf and Herc already know. They probably guessed what we were doing, anyway." I sighed.

"Yeah." Alex replied, and finished putting his clothes on.

I threw my clothes on and fixed my ponytail. Alex then unlocked the door and we walked out into the arcade.

"Oh my god." Laf said when he saw us walking out of the bathroom together. "We're you doing what I think you were doing in there?"

"Yeah." Alex replied, and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, we have to go back to school." Herc said, walking towards the door of the arcade.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex's POV

A few days had passed since the day at the arcade. John and I had been doing it pretty much every day, and Laf and Herc have started knocking on the door before that came into our dorm, since they've walked in on us more than a few times since Wednesday.

"So, John." I said to him while we were doing homwork on Saturday afternoon. "I was thinking that after church tomorrow, we could go out to an actual date."

"I'd like that." He smiled.

"So, where do you want to go?" I asked, moving to sit next to him on his bed.

"We could do the classic dinner and a movie." He suggested.

"Or," I said, grabbing my laptop, "we could go here."

I pulled up a page on my laptop that I had saved, and showed it to John.

"A theme park?" He asked, scrolling through the website.

"Yeah! It'll be fun!" I said, going to the _Buy Tickets_ page.

"Alex." John wispered. "I told you I don't have any money."

"Don't worry about that." I said. "I got it."

"I feel bad, though. This can't be cheap." He explained.

"Look," I started, "my aunt sends me one hundred dollars every month so I can do fun stuff on the weekends. Please," I put my hand on his shoulder, "let me take care of this."

"Ok." He gave in, leaning his head on my shoulder while I bought the tickets.

XXX

"Come on, let's go!" I exclaimed once we were ready to go on our date the next day.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" He said while we walked out the door. "You have the tickets?" He asked, and I held them up.

We signed out, saying that we would be back by 8:30. We walked down the few blocks to the theme park, turned in our tickets, and walked into the park.

We grabbed a map at the enterance and looked it over.

"Where do you want to go first?" I asked John, looking around.

He studied the map, looking for something to ride.

"Why don't we ride the wooden roller coaster?" He suggested.

"Sounds fun. Let's go!" I said, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the roller coasters.

We practically ran through the park towards the coaster, hand in hand. We got in line, and I turned to John. He looked nervous.

"What's wrong? Scared of the roller coaster?" I teased.

"No, no, it's not that." He said, very obviously nervous.

"Then what's wrong?" I asked him while running my hands up and down his arm, all joking gone.

"What if someone sees us?" He asked. "We're only a few blocks away from school, and..."

I kissed him to shut him up. I figured that would be the nicest way.

"You worry too much. It'll be fine!" I assured him. "Come on, its our turn to ride the roller coaster!"

We boarded and strapped in. John grabbed my hand and held on so tight that it almost cut off my circulation.

"Alex." John said, nervous.

"So you are afraid." I laughed.

"A little." He admitted.

"Just keep holding my hand, and it'll all be fine." I told him. He layed his head on my shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut.

The roller coaster started going up the hill and John squeezed my hand even tighter. I kissed the top of his head and then he dug his face into my shoulder. I used my free hand to tilt his head up to me, and he opened his eyes. Just as the roller coaster started to go down the hill, I kissed him. He seemed to relax instantly. We didn't break the kiss until the car came to a sudden stop in the station.

I pulled the bar up off our laps and unhooked the seatbelt. I got up, then held my hand out to help John up. He took it, and we walked towards the exit.

As we were walking out, one of the workers wispered in my ear, "You two are so cute together." John must have heard it, because he smiled.

"Thanks." I said to her as we walked back towards the exit.

"So," I said once we were out of the ride. "is it safe to assume that we're not riding any roller coasters, not that I didn't enjoy that."

"Probably not." He laughed. "How about we grab some lunch?" He suggested.

"Sounds great." I smiled, and we walked towards the food stalls, hand in hand.

XXX

John's POV

"We have time for one more ride before we have to get back." Alex said.

We had been at the park all day, and we had mostly been sticking to the mellow rides.

"How about the Ferris wheel?" I suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Alex said, and he grabbed my hand to lead us to the Ferris wheel.

We only waited in line for a few minutes, since it was a Sunday night and most people weren't haning out in a theme park then. We got on the ride just as the sun was setting. I snuggled up to Alex as we rode up. He put his arm over my shoulder, and I hugged him.

When we got to the top, I sat up and looked up at Alex. He and I looked into each others eyes for a few long moments, then we kissed. It was soft at first, then it got harder, more passionate. Hungier. We kissed like that until we stopped at the bottom and got off.

When we got back on the ground, Alex looked at his watch.

"Oh, shit." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"It's eight twenty-five." He said while looking at me.

We practically sprinted back to school, and we still got back at eight forty-five.

"Why are you two so late?" Angelica asked when we got back to sign back into the office.

"We're so sorry, Ms. Schuyler. We lost track of time." Alex said.

"Uh-Huh." She said. "Just sign back in. And you two have lunch detentions tomorrow. Meet me here then. C lunch, right?"

"Yes." I sighed.


	10. Chapter 10

John's POV

"Hello, boys." Angelica said as Alex and I walked into the office for our lunch detention.

"Hello, Ms. Schuyler." We said in unison.

"Come with me." She said, and motioned us to a conference room.

We sat down next to each other at the table and moved our wheely chairs closer to each other so we could hold hands under the table. We started eating lunch in silence.

"So, let's talk about last night, boys. Why were you late?" Angelica said.

"Like we said last night, Ms. Schuyler. We were out and we lost track of time." Alex repeated.

"Out where?" She asked.

"The theme park down the street." I said.

"Can you give me a specific reason why you were late?" She demanded.

"We got on the Ferris wheel at seven forty-five, thinking we would have enough time to ride then get back on time, but then we didn't get off until 8:25." Alex explained.

"A half an hour Ferris wheel ride? You really expect me to believe that?" Angelica questioned.

"Ok, so maybe we didn't get on at seven forty-five." Alex admitted. I elbowed him in the side.

He gave me a look. _What?_ It said.

I looked at him. _Don't._ Is what I was trying to convey. It seemed like he got the message.

"Then what were you doing?" She pushed.

"We were in the bathroom." I lied, thinking it would be an acceptable excuse.

"The bathroom, huh?" She started. "Because I've ridden that Ferris wheel, and it's only a ten minute ride. If you got off at 8:25, then you would've gotten on at eight fifteen. You were really in the bathroom for a half an hour?"

"Umm..." I said, trying to come up with something.

"We were making out." Alex blurted out.

"What are you doing?" I whispered to him.

"She's obviously not going to stop until she hears the truth." Alex said. "And, believe me, she won't report us."

I looked back at Angelica. She looked like she was trying to figure out what to do with us. Then she took a deep breath.

"Are you two in a serious relationship?" She asked.

"Yes." Alex said, and he grabbed my hand and we put them on the table where she could see them. I blushed. "Expel is if you want to. We don't care. We would rather be together than be apart in this school."

"I'm not going to report you, boys." She started, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I'm an LGBTQ ally, so I'm perfectly ok with this. But I will warn you, if anyone else finds out, that could be the end of your time at St. Judes. So be careful."

"We will. Thank you so much, Ms. Schuyler." Alex said.

"Now, go. Get to class." She said as the bell rang.

When we walked out, I whispered to Alex, "Meet me in the bathrooms near the cafeteria in five minutes."

"Ooh, ok." He said, and ran off to class.

XXX

"Why the hell would you do that?" I asked Alex when he walked into the bathroom.

"Woah woah woah. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Why would you tell Angelica about us?" I almost screamed at him.

"I did what had to be done." He said simply.

"You could have gotten us expelled!" I yelled. "Do you know what my dad would do to me if I got expelled? He... He..."

I fell down to the floor and broke down crying. Alex ran down and wrapped his arms around me to try and comfort me. I fell back into his embrace, finding comfort in it, even though I was mad at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex asked, still hugging me on the floor.

"When I was in sixth grade, I got suspended from school for speaking out about my beliefs in my Christian studies class. When my dad heard about it... let's just say that's when the beatings started. He beat me for not being "holy", and he beat my mom for "putting these ideas in my head". I don't even want to know what he would do I got expelled." I explained.

"Oh, babe. I'm so sorry." He said. "I wouldn't have made that big proclamation if I had known."

"But that's just it. How could you have known?" I cried. "We've only been dating for what, a week now? Eight days, maybe? Alex, What are we doing? We almost got expelled today, just for going on a date. Are we sure we want to risk this?"

"Look, John. What I said to Angelica was true. I would rather be with you than be in this hell hole." He said while looking into my eyes. "I will run away with you, if it comes to that. Whatever it takes for us to be together. Because I love you. I know that this is moving fast, but..."

"I love you, too, Alex." I said, cutting him off.

We sat on that bathroom floor, me in Alex's arms, for the rest of the period. Thankfully, no one else walked in during that period.

When the bell rang, Alex said, "Do you want to just skip the rest of the day? We could say we both fell suddenly and disgustingly ill."

"I'd like that." I said, reaching up and kissing him.

We went back to the dorm and emailed the office that we were sick. We just hung out there for the rest of the day, laughing talking, and doing... well... _other stuff._ Consummating our love, let's say. Anyway, other than my insane emotional breakdown, it was a pretty amazing day.


	11. Chapter 11

Alex's POV 

Over the past two weeks since John and I said our first I love yous, we'd been doing it _everywhere._ In school bathrooms, various classrooms, the cafeteria, et cetera. We came up with a plan to do it in every room of the school by the end of the school year.

"Hey, John." I called to him one Tuesday after school, two weeks after the lunch detention incident. "I'm getting in the shower. Want to join me?"

"Do I ever?" He asked, throwing down the book he was reading on his bed and stripping as he walked towards me into the bathroom.

We jumped into the shower and tried some things we had never done before, since we didn't have the _supplies_ to do so. Let's just say, it was the best time of both of our lives. It was very hard to keep quiet while we did so.

"Wow." John said after we got out, an hour and a half later. "That was _amazing._ "

"I know, right?" I said, coming over and kissing him. "I know where we should sneak off to tonight." I said when we pulled away.

"Where?" He asked.

"The courtyard." I exclaimed.

"Outside?" John said, suddenly nervous. "Couldn't we get caught?"

"Babe, no matter where we do it, we run the risk of getting caught." I told him.

"Yeah, I guess." He admitted. "Let's do it."

XXX

We always waited until 11:00 to sneak out, just to assure that all the teachers are asleep first. Tonight, we snuck off to the courtyard, moving as quietly as possible, and using the cafeteria exit since that was the farthest from all the dorms, and it led right into the courtyard.

When we got out there, we checked to make sure that no one was out there, and then we picked a spot farthest away from the doors, and most hidden - behind a bush.

Once we had picked our spot, we layed down the blanket John insisted we bring out with us down on the ground, and we layed down on top of it, and started kissing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked John.

"Yes. I'm sure." He said.

We then resumed our kissing. John ran his hands through my hair while I took off his shirt, breaking the kiss for only a few moments. He went down and pulled off the shorts I was wearing, followed by my boxers. I did the same. I then pulled off my own shirt and John's pants and boxers, and the fun really begun.

XXX

"I still can't believe we got away with that." John said when we snuck back into our rooms.

"Well, you'd better believe it, babe, because we did." I laughed.

"Hey, um, do you think maybe we can skip tomorrow and just sleep? Not that I don't enjoy this, but I have a huge English test in two days, and..." John rambled.

"Of course." I cut him off, and he smiled. "Maybe we can have a romantic evening in."

"I love you." John smiled, coming over and kissing me.

"I love you, too." I smiled back after we broke apart.

"Ugh, I really wish we could sleep in the same bed." John sighed.

"Yeah, me too." I replied.

John looked longingly at my bed for a few moments before turning to me and saying, "Goodnight, honey. I love you." And kissing me.

"Goodnight. Love you, too." I smiled after we broke apart.

We went to our separate beds and went to sleep without another word.

XXX

John's POV 

After school the next day, Alex and I planned our little romantic evening. We would steal some dessert from the cafeteria and eat it while watching crappy romcoms on Netflix.

At dinner, Alex and I tried, and failed, to be sneaky in hiding the desserts we were stealing. It didn't really matter anyway, because people stole food from the cafeteria all the time. It wasn't that bad.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Alex asked when we got back to our dorm room.

"I don't even know what's on Netflix. My dad never had it. He says too much of the content is 'sinful'." I told him.

"Your dad sounds like a real hoot." He laughed.

"Oh, yeah, the best." I laughed back.

We spent the next twenty minutes or so scrolling through romcoms on Netflix, trying to find something suitable to watch. We settled on this movie called _The Kissing Booth,_ which was about this girl who was in love with her best friends older brother, but wasn't allowed to date him.

"Sound familiar?" Alex had laughed after we watched the trailer.

"Yeah, except we could get in actual trouble if people find out about us." I joked.

Once we picked the movie, we settled in on the couch. I layed my head on Alex's shoulder and he put his arm around me, and we were holding hands. We sat there and watched the first, like, half an hour contently, and then we got to talking.

"So, do you think we'll ever get to live in a world where we don't have to hide?" I asked Alex. "I mean, here, in this school, we can't be who we really are with anyone but each other."

"Yeah, it sucks." Alex said, "But I hope someday we can run away from this hell hole and go live together somewhere where we can be together, out in the open. It's not like either of us has anything keeping us here."

"Yeah, seriously." I said, truly meaning it.

We just talked and watched the movie for the rest of the night, and eating our stolen desserts. And, I couldn't help but wonder if I'll ever get my happily ever after.


	12. Chapter 12

J ohn's POV

"Do you guys want to come see a movie with us tomorrow?" Herc asked Alex and I at dinner on Friday.

"Sure." Alex replied.

"Sounds good to me." I agreed.

"It's not like they're going to be watching much of the movie." Laf said, laughing at his own joke.

"Oh, shut up, Laf." Alex said.

"Alex, honey, I think you and I both know he's telling the truth." I laughed.

"See?" Laf exclaimed. "I'm not the only one who thinks so!"

"What movie do you guys want to see?" Herc asked, pulling up the movie theater website on his phone.

"How about the new Transformers movie?" Laf suggested.

"Ugh. Pass." Herc said. "What about Aquaman?"

"That works for me." I said, and Laf and Alex nodded their heads in agreement.

"The movie starts at three, so we should probably leave around two." Herc explained.

"Cool." Alex said.

XXX

Alex and I spent Saturday morning snuggling up on the couch watching TV on his laptop. Alex was sitting with his arm over my shoulder, and I had my head laying on his chest, stretching my legs out over the rest of the couch.

"Do we have to go to the movie?" I asked Alex, while still laying on the couch. "Can we just stay in this spot forever?"

"I wish." He said while stroking my hair, "But we promised Herc and Laf. They'd be pissed at us if bail now."

"Yeah, I guess." I said, snuggling deeper into Alex's embrace.

We layed there for a few more minutes in a comfortable silence.

"We really should get dressed." Alex said, still not moving.

"Yeah, but laying on you is so comfortable." I said to Alex, looking up at him. He smiled, then kissed me.

"Allons-y, mes amies!" Laf said, bursting into the room, while we were still kissing, I might add. "Get dressed! We have to leave soon if we want to get good seats for the movie!"

Alex and I reluctantly jumped off the couch to get our clothes and go into the bathroom to change.

"Allons-y?" I asked Alex when we got into the bathroom.

"It means 'let's go'." He responded. "I can't believe Laf still doesn't understand that not everyone in America speaks French."

"Did Laf grow up in France?" I asked.

"Yeah. He and his parents moved here when he was eight." Alex explained. "English is his second language. That's why he's always speaking French."

"That makes so much sense." I said.

"Come on, let's go." Alex said after we were both dressed and ready to go.

We walked out into our dorm room, then down to the office to sign out. To air on the side of caution, we said we'd be back by 6:00.

We walked out and Alex and I gradually got closer to each other as we got father from school until we were eventually holding hands and literally leaning on each other as we walked.

"How far is the movie theatre?" I asked when we were a few blocks from school.

"Just two more block from here." Alex sexily whispered in my ear.

"How do you make such a simple phrase sound so sexy?" I whispered in his ear.

"Talent." He smiled.

"Could you two lovebirds quit it and come buy your tickets?" Laf said as he motioned is into the theatre.

We walked into the theatre and bought out tickets. Alex gave me a few bucks so I could buy my own ticket. It was kind of embarrassing to have Alex always pay for stuff for me, so we just kind of keep it secret.

We bought some candy and popcorn and went to sit down just as the lights were going down for the movie to start.

Alex leaned over to me as the movie started and whispered, "So, I don't really want to watch this..."

"Ugh. No. Me either." I said.

"Soo... Maybe..." He said, and I cut him off by kissing him.

If someone were to ask me what Aquaman was about, I would have no idea. Alex and I were making out the entire two and a half hour movie. I think it was good, though, because Laf and Herc seemed to enjoy it.

"Did you guys enjoy the movie?" Herc asked as we walked out, oblivious of what we were doing during the movie.

"Oh, they enjoyed it alright." Laf joked as we walked out. "They got a great view of each other."

Herc face went from confusion, to realization, to laughing.

"Did you two see any of the movie?" Herc asked.

"No, not really." I said.

"We probably saw a minute or two, collectively." Alex laughed.

We walked out of the theatre and into the street. Alex and I were holding hands and laughing, and kissing.

Suddenly, Alex let go of my hand and walked a few steps sideways. I looked over at him, confused, but he just looked ahead.

We walked about a block like that, and then Alex came back to hold my hand.

He whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry about that. I saw some boys from school across the street who are in Thomas Jefferson and James Madison's group, and those guys are total asses."

"It's ok." I whispered back. "Part of being in this relationship is doing what we need to do to keep it a secret. I would've done the same thing."

"I promise I'll make it up to you when we get back to the dorm." He said sexily.

"You'd better." I laughed.

We got back to the dorm and Alex held up on his promise. He made it up to me five times. We were both exhausted after the fact, but it was so worth it.


	13. Chapter 13

Alex's POV

As Herc, Laf, John, and I were sitting down to breakfast on Monday, Thomas Jefferson sat down at our table.

"What do you want, Thomas?" Laf asked angrily. They used to be really good friends in elementary school, but they had a falling out before coming here, and Laf hates his guts.

"I wanted to talk to Alex and his very good friend, John." He said slyly.

"What is it, Thomas?" I asked drily.

"So, How long have you and John been going out?" He asked, mock interested.

"Excuse me?" John asked, letting go of my hand under the table and discreetly moving his chair away from mine. "Who do you think we are?"

"Faggots, that's who I think you are." Thomas said.

"Just walk away, Thomas, before things get ugly." I warned.

"You're not denying it." He cooed.

"Go to hell, Thomas." Herc said. Thomas looked like he was about to cry.

"Too far, dude. Too far." Thomas said, offended.

"And calling us faggots isn't?" John defended.

"Just go." Laf said. "Please."

"Fine." Thomas said, getting up. "But this isn't over!"

Thomas walked away, back towards his table in the center of the cafeteria. To tell his little mindless followers am over-exaggerated version of what just went down.

I turned to John, pulling my chair out closer to his and grabbing his hand again under the table.

"Nice acting." I said to him.

"Yeah, you too." He smiled.

"I really wish we could kiss right now." I said.

"I know the feeling." He said, looking into my eyes.

XXX

"Today we will be discussing commandment number seven - thou shall not commit adultery." Dell said, opening his class.

 _Great._ I thought to myself, rolling my eyes. _More opportunities for Thomas to screw John and I over._

"None of you should currently be having physical relationships with anyone," Dell opened, "since none of you are married and you go to a school full of boys."

 _Too late._ I thought to myself, smirking.

Thomas raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Jefferson?" Dell said.

"What would be considered adultery outside of marriage?" He asked.

"Good question, Mr. Jefferson. The answer is any physical relations with anyone would be considered adultery when one is not married." He answered.

Thomas raised his hand again, and Dell gestured towards him, calling on him.

"Follow up - is physical relations with a person of the same gender considered as adultery, married or not?" He asked.

"Yes." Dell said. "It is always considered adultery, no matter of one's marital status."

 _That's bullshit._ I thought to myself.

Laf raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Lafayette?" Dell said.

"If two people who are together are 'physical relations', but they're not married, then why is it adultery? It's not like your cheating on anyone." Laf said.

"Your cheating your promise to God." Dell said simply.

"I don't ever remember making any promise to God that said I couldn't do it with someone before we were married." Laf said.

"See me after class, Mr. Lafayette." Dell said, looking almost constipated with anger. He then continued on with his lecture.

XXX

"What did Dell day to you?" I asked Laf when we all sat down at lunch.

"After school detentions for a week until 5:30." He said. "But was sooooo worth it to see the look on his face when I said that."

"Yeah, Laf that was awesome." Herc said, patting him on the back.

"Seriously." John said.

"What the fuck was that in Dell's class today, Lafayette?" Thomas said, sitting down at our table.

"Twice in one day, Thomas." I said. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"What do you mean?" Laf asked.

"Of course you made a promise to God! Everyone has!" He exclaimed.

"You see, I don't recall that." Laf said.

"Yeah, I don't either." I said, and John and Herc nodded their heads in agreement.

"You people are adulterous, sinful bitches." Thomas said, then he pointed to John and I, "and you two are fags." He finished before walking away.

XXX

"Dell's class was hell today." I said to John when we got back to our dorm after dinner that day.

"Seriously." John said, then looked at me. "Is it bad that your sighs and eye rolls kind of turned me on a little bit?"

"Not at all." I said, sauntering over to him. "You're turning me on right now by just standing there." I picked him up bride style and threw him on the bed, and he laughed.

"Let's commit adultery together, babe." I said in my most serious, sexy voice, and John exploded laughing.

I started sexily taking off his clothes, looking dead into his eyes. John was giggling like a maniac the entire time.

"This is no laughing matter, Johnathan." I said. John Just died laughing.

I broke character and started ticking shirtless John, and he started tickling me. We both giggled and laughed and started stripping each other. We ended up doing it, giggling the whole time. It was actually a nice change of pace.

XXX

John's POV

The next day on the way to sixth period, I heard Thomas say to me, "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh, yeah? And what is that?" I asked him, pulling over to a corner of the hallway.

"Obviously, you know I know about you and Alex." He started.

"Yes, I'm aware." I said.

"I want you to do something for me." He said.

"And why would I do that?" I asked.

"Because if you don't, I will put you to Johansson." He smirked.

"Ok, fine." I said. "What do you want?"

He smiled, then said, "I want you to break up with Alex."


	14. Chapter 14

John's POV

"Why in hell do you think I would do that?" I asked.

"Because I know what your dad would do to you if you were expelled, especially for being in a romantic relationship with another man." He smirked.

"How do you...?" I trailed off.

"I have spies everywhere, John. Nothing you say is safe." He said.

"So, what? If I don't break up with Alex, you'll tell Johansson about us, get us expelled, and... what? What does that get you?" I asked.

"Satisfaction." He said. "Knowing that there are no fags in MY school."

"Oh, Thomas." I smiled. "You and I both know that you'll never be satisfied."

"Shut the fuck up you fag." He said, almost screaming into the now empty hallway. "Either break up with Alex, tell him that it was all fake the whole time, and that your strait, or, I'll tell Johansson about the two of you."

I thought it over. _What choice do I have?_ I thought to myself. _I love Alex with all my heart, but there's no way that I'm going to face the wrath of my father. Never again._

"Fine." I said, on the verge of tears. "I'll do it."

I saw Thomas smirk, then I ran to the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, and started balling my eyes out. I didn't know how I was going to get through breaking it off with Alex in one piece.

XXX

"Alex, I need to talk to you." I said when we got back to our dorm after school.

"Do you want to do some _stuff_ first?" He said, taking off his shirt.

"No, I don't." I said, and this time he turned to me, knowing it was serious.

"What's wrong?" He asked, walking over to me and hugging me. I relished in it for a few seconds, knowing that this would be the last time I did, before shrugging him off.

"We can't do this anymore." I said, looking at the floor. I couldn't look at his face while I broke the heart of the man that I loved so much.

"What do you mean?" He asked, concerned.

"This. All of this. The sex, the 'I love you's, the relationship. I just can't do it anymore." I said, holding back tears.

"Babe, Where is this coming from?" He asked, coming over and tilting his head up so I was looking in his eyes.

"It's coming from me." I said, turning around and walking away from him, "I'm straight. This whole relationship had been a fake from the beginning."

"No, there's no way." He said, starting to cry.

I just stood there, staring at the floor, trying to keep from hurting him anymore.

"There's no way that this whole time you were faking. It's just not possible." He wept, full-on crying now. I bit my lip so hard that I shed blood just to keep myself from crying, too.

Suddenly, Alex walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, I fell down to the floor and started sobbing. It took all my self-control to keep from running after him and comforting him.

XXX

Alex's POV

I ran over to Laf and Herc's and slammed the door behind me. I fell down to the floor and started sobbing.

"What's wrong?" Laf asked, getting up from his seat on the couch and coming over to sit with me on the floor.

"John broke up with me." I sobbed.

"Woah. What happened?" Herc asked.

"We walked into our dorm after school and he said that he wanted to talk to me. I said ok, and he told me that we were over because he's strait and the whole relationship has been fake from the beginning." I said with sobs scattered in between.

"Oh, honey. Je suis tres désolé." Laf said, hugging me. "I hate to tell you this in such a hard time, but there is no way John doesn't love you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, stopping my sobbing for a moment.

"No man makes out with someone for the entirety of a two and a half hour movie, or sneak out of their dorm every night to have sex if they don't love them." Laf explained.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes! Go get your man back!" He exclaimed.

"Ok!" I said, jumping off the floor and running back to my dorm.

I ran back down the hall to my dorm and swung open to door to find John sobbing on the floor.

I just stood there looking at John for a few moments deciding what to do. I decided to try and comfort him.

I sat down on the floor next to him.

"A-Alex?" John stuttered when he saw me.

"Yeah. I'm right here." I said.

"You don't hate me?" He asked, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"No, babe. I could never hate you." I said, putting my head on his shoulder. "I love you so much."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, honey. I really do love you." He assured me.

"I know, babe, I know." I said to him while rubbing his shoulders. "I'm not mad, but please just tell me why you did it?"

"Thomas Jefferson pulled me over in the hallway today and told me that if I didn't break your heart, that he would rat us out to Johansson." He explained, still sobbing. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have listened to him. I should have..."

I cut him off by kissing him.

"What was that for?" He asked, still crying.

"To shut you up." I started. "Babe, I love you, and I forgive you for what you did. So please, please stop rambling."

"Ok." He laughed, wiping the tears off his face.

"Let me." I said, kissing off the tears that were still on his face. He giggled.

"We need to make it seem like we hate each other when we are outside this room." I said.

"Yes. We do." John agreed. "But... we're in this room now, so..."

We ended up making out, and having the best make up sex any two men have ever had.


	15. Chapter 15

John's POV

"Ok, so, let's go over it one more time." Alex said to Laf, Herc, and I before we left our dorm for breakfast the next morning.

"Alex and I broke up last night after dinner." I started.

"So you two aren't on speaking terms." Herc said.

"I took Alex's side, and Herc took Johns." Laf said.

"And I get mad whenever John speaks to me, and vice versa." Alex finished. "Are we all good?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Yup." Herc said.

"Oui." Laf said.

"Ok, then let's go." Alex said, him and Laf leaving the room first. Herc and I waited two or three minutes before leaving the room after them.

Walking to the cafeteria, I contemplated what I was about to do. I loved Alex so much, and pretending to hate him would be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I didn't know what I was going to have to do, have to say, that would make the scene look believable.

Alex and I had talked last night after we came up with this plan.

_"We need to make a pact." He said._

_"Ok." I responded, scooching closer to him on the couch._

_"Out there, we may need to say things, do things, that may hurt the other person. But, in here," He leaned closer to me, "we are different people. Nothing we say out there matters when we're in here. In here, we belong to each other." Then he kissed me._

_"Ok." I smiled._

I know we made that pact last night, but still. Would I have to hurt Alex? I didn't want to. I don't think I ever could.

"Hey," Herc said, putting his hand on my shoulder, "It'll be ok." I smiled.

We walked into the crowded cafeteria, and I went through the breakfast line.

I took a deep breath when we got to our table.

 _Here we go._ I thought.

I sat down a few seats away from Alex without looking at him. All four of us ate our breakfasts in silence.

 _This isn't so bad._ I thought.

Then, the inevitable happened.

"So, the fags broke up, did they?" Thomas said, walking over with James Madison in tow.

"Can it, Thomas." Herc said.

"No, seriously, what happened?" James said, mock sincere.

"Just leave us alone." Laf said.

"Not so talkative today, loverboys?" Thomas mocked.

"Please just go!" Alex exclaimed. "Clearly no one wants you here, so just go!"

"Don't you have something to say, John?" Thomas cooed. "What do you think of John?" He raised his eyebrow, as if to warn me.

I took a second to think of what to say. I didn't want to hurt Alex by going too far, but I knew that might be the only way Thomas would be happy.

"I think he's a fag." I mumbled. I looked down at the table into my cereal, not needing to see the pain in Alex's eyes, no matter how much I was going to make it up to him later.

I heard a chair scrape across the floor, and saw Alex run off.

 _It's all part of the act._ I thought. _It's all part of the act._

XXX

Alex's POV

I ran off to the bathroom. Mostly because I was playing the part of the sad ex-boyfriend, but also because I didn't need to see what happened next. I knew John didn't mean what he said, I did, but it didn't make it any easier to hear.

The door opened to the bathroom a few minutes after I got there, and looked up expecting to see John. It was Laf.

"John wanted to come, but I told him it would look better if I came. I'm so sorry, mon amie." Laf said. "After you left, Thomas seemed happy and walked away."

"Ok." Was all I could muster.

"Alex, you know John didn't mean what he said." Laf explained.

"Yeah, I know." I choked out, on the verge of tears.

"Just let it out if you need to." He said, and I started crying.

"Do you think it will ever get easier? Him hurting me? Me hurting him?" I asked, looking at Laf.

"I don't know." He admitted. "This whole thing is new for me."

"Is it weird that I just want to be with him right now?" I laughed.

"No, not at all." Laf assured me, smiling.

Just then, John walked in. He ran over to me and hugged me.

"Honey, I'm so so sorry." He said.

"I know, I know. What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"I waited for Thomas and his friends to leave, then I ran out." He explained.

"I'll leave you to it." Laf said, spinning on his heels and walking out.

Once Laf left, we started kissing.

"I really am so sorry." John pleaded.

"I know, I know. You did what you had to do. That's part of our deal." I reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. This is never going to get any easier." He said.

"Nope." I agreed. "Oh, happy one month anniversary, by the way."

"Really? That's today?" John asked.

"Actually, it was yesterday. But, with everything going on, we forgot to celebrate." I explained.

"Oh, well maybe we should do that tonight." John said seductively.

"Yeah, maybe we should." I said.

Then, suddenly, the bell rang.

"Oh, crap." John said.

"Alright, I'll go first, then you count to sixty, then come out." I suggested.

"Ok." He said.

I was just about to run out when I turned back around and kissed him.

"I love you." I said after we pulled away.

"I love you, too. Now go!" John said, pushing me out the door.


	16. Chapter 16

John's POV

A month had gone by with our new plan, and things were going pretty well. Though Thomas liked to provoke things at times, he seemed to believe that we were broken up. Alex and I had gotten pretty good at the whole 'acting like we hate each other' thing.

I woke up in the middle of the night one night to thunder and lightning coming from outside the window. I looked over at Alex to see him curled up in a ball on his bed, breathing heavily. It looked like he was having a panic attack.

I ran over to his bed and said, "Hey, what's wrong?" I wrapped my arms around him, trying to comfort him.

He started mumbling.

"What?" I asked, trying to find out how I could help him.

"It's just a storm it's just a storm it's just a storm it's just a storm." He muttered over and over again.

"Are you afraid of the storm?" I asked.

He looked up at me, seeming like it was the first time he noticed me.

"Hurricane." Was all he said.

"Honey, it's not a hurricane. It's just a storm." I told him, hoping it would relax him.

Then, thunder cracked and he jumped, then started to cry.

"They're all going to die." He mumbled. Whatever was going on, I knew I couldn't deal with it alone.

"I'll be right back, ok?" I whispered to Alex, then ran down the hall to Laf and Herc's room. I hoped that they would know what to do.

I opened the door and ran to wake them.

"Que se passe-t-il?" Laf muttered.

"Yeah, What the hell, John?" Herc said.

"Alex is having a panic attack and I don't know how to help him." I informed them frantically.

That seemed to get them up, because they both looked out the window and saw the storm. They jumped out of their beds and ran down to Alex and my room at lightning speed, and I followed them.

They sat down next to Alex when we got back to the room, and started consoling him in soft, hushed tones.

"Alex, no one is going to get hurt." Laf started.

"It's not a hurricane." Herc continued.

"Your safe and warm." Laf said.

"Everything is going to be ok." Herc recited.

Laf and Herc kept talking like this, and I just watched in awe as they pulled Alex out of whatever state he was in.

"John. Where's John?" He asked when he seemed well enough to talk again. I ran over to sit in front of him on the bed and grabbed his hands.

"I'm right here, Alex. I'm ok. I'm safe." I said. Then, I looked over at Laf and he nodded his head, assuring me that I said the right thing.

We all sat there silently for a while, just making sure Alex was ok. Once the sun started to rise, Laf pulled me aside to talk to me.

"You need to email the office and tell them that your both very very sick and that you won't be able to come to classes today." He started. "Just be with Alex today. Keep him distracted from the storm, and whatever you do, don't talk about his family today. It'll be too hard on him."

"But... why?" I asked. "Why is he so afraid of storms?"

"Alex experienced a bad hurricane when he was little that wiped out his whole town. He's had PTSD from it ever since." Laf explained.

"Woah, I had no idea." I said.

"Ok, Herc and I have to go get ready for school. Just keep Alex distracted, ok?" Laf confirmed.

"Yep." I said, then he went over to Alex.

"Herc and I have to leave now, ok, mon amie?" He said to Alex. "But John will be here with you all day, ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok, go." He said with a shaky voice.

Laf and Herc walked out, and I went over to sit with Alex.

"So," I started with a happy, cheery voice. "We have the whole day to ourselves. What do you want to do?"

"I want to talk about what happened." Alex said.

"No, you don't have to." I assured him.

"But I want to." He stated. "When I was twelve, a hurricane destroyed my town. It killed my mom, and that's when I was left on my own, since my dad had already left. I didn't have anything, and it was one of the darkest moments of my life. Now, any time I hear thunder or see lightning, even on a movie or something, I get a really bad panic attack. I haven't watched _The Wizard of Oz_ since I was six because of that."

All I could think to do was just sit there, holding Alex for a while. We sat there in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"I have PTSD, too." I said timidly.

"From what?" Alex said, looking up.

"Whenever I hear noises in a dark room, I imagine it's my dad coming to beat me up. I've gotten so many panic attacks from stupid stuff, like someone walking around in the hallway, or something dumb like that." I explained.

"Well, then I'll try not to do that." Alex said lovingly, and I laughed.

"Ok, so we seriously need to lighten the mood a bit." I said.

"Ugh, yes please." Alex groaned.

"How about we watch something?" I suggested.

"Sounds great." Alex smiled, getting up to grab his laptop.

We ended up watching TV on Alex's laptop all day while snuggling up on the couch and talking about our fears, our dreams... it was really nice. It was a good day, despite the weather.


	17. Chapter 17

Alex's POV

Since the storm had died down that evening, and John had very quickly mastered the art of pulling me out of my panic attacks, we both went to classes the next day.

At breakfast, Thomas came and talked to us.

"So, both of you were sick yesterday?" He asked, sitting down at our table.

"Yes." I responded.

"You know how fast germs spread when two people share a room." John explained.

"Really." He said. "Both of you were too sick to attend classes yesterday, and now your both just miraculously better."

"God works in mysterious ways." Laf said. "Isn't that what you say, Thomas?"

"I guess." He muttered, getting up and walking away.

"That was close." Herc said once Thomas was out of earshot.

"Yeah, seriously." I agreed.

"We need to be more careful." Laf said.

"Let's all meet in our dorm after dinner." John suggested, then got up, slammed his chair into the table, mock angry, and walked away. I looked over to Thomas' table and saw him looking over at us with a skeptical look on his face.

 _That can't be good._ I thought to myself.

XXX

We all met in John and my dorm after school to figure out what we were going to do about Thomas' suspicions.

"So what the hell are we going to do?" Herc asked when we were all in John and my dorm after dinner.

"We just need to fight more. We just..." John started.

"No, babe. We need to go farther." I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused. "Not sit at the same table at meals? What?"

"I don't know! Just let me think." I said, and started pacing. "It wouldn't make sense for us to not sit at the same table, because roommates are almost always friends, or at least on speaking terms."

"What about you two just ignoring each other." Laf suggested.

"I don't know." I said, still pacing.

"What about if we just keep doing what we're doing." Herc said, and I stopped pacing and turned to look at him.

"But what we're doing isn't working." I stated.

"No, he's just suspicious because of what happened yesterday. We just keep doing what we're doing, and never let that happen again." He said simply.

"That might work." John said.

"Oui." Laf agreed.

"Ok. We'll try it. But we're changing it if he seems at all suspicious tomorrow." I said.

"That works." Laf said, and he and Herc got up. "We have a project to work on. Au revoir, mes amies." They walked out.

"Bye." John said as they walked out.

"So... now that they're gone..." I started, smirking at John.

"Ooh. I like the way you think, honey." He said. I layed down on the bed and he layed down on top of me, kissing me.

We went at it until a teacher knocked on our door, telling us it's lights out.

XXX

John's POV

The next day, Herc, Laf, Alex and I sat down at our table for breakfast.

"Here we go." Alex breathed, clearly nervous.

I looked around to make sure Thomas and his crew weren't here yet, then I put my hand on his leg under the table, and said, "It'll be ok."

He took a deep breath, and pushed my hand off his leg when he saw Thomas walk in. I moved down a few seats before he looked over at us.

When he did, he sneered. Probably because Alex and I weren't sitting next to each other. He so desperately wanted proof of us being together so he could tell on us to Johansson. I swear, he wants us to get expelled.

We ate breakfast in silence while Thomas stared at us from across the room. It was really creepy. As soon as we were all finished eating, we picked up to leave. As we were walking towards the exit, Thomas stopped us.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" He said, walking over to us.

"I can't seem to find anything wrong with the four of us." Laf said innocently.

"Well, I can spot two offenders right here." He said, pointing to Alex and I.

"How many times do we have to tell you, Thomas. We're not together." I reinforced.

"Oh, but with the incident from two days ago, I'm not sure I believe you." Thomas cooed.

"We were sick, Thomas. Sick. It happens." Alex said, annoyed.

"Is there a problem here?" Angelica said, walking up to us.

"No, Ms. Schuyler. No problem." I said, glaring at Thomas, then walking away. Laf, Herc, and Alex followed me.

"Ok, that's it. We're coming up with a new plan." Alex said once we were out of earshot of the cafeteria.

"Yeah, your right. But not right now." Herc said.

"Yeah, right now we need to figure out how to get through this goddamn school day." I said, and a few freshmen gave me a sideways glance. "Oh, come on. You can't tell me you don't curse too." I scolded them, and they walked away faster.

"Hypo, hyp..." Laf started, then got angry. "Dammit, what's the word for someone who does something but they make fun of people who do the same thing?"

"Hypocrite?" Herc suggested.

"Oui! That's the word!" Laf exclaimed. "They're hypocrites."

"We need to meet again tonight after to dinner to go over what we're going to do." Alex said, clearly annoyed.

"Ok." I said, trying my best to discreetly calm him down.

"Come on, we have to go to homeroom." Alex said, walking faster.


	18. Chapter 18

John's POV 

Alex was quiet most of the day. He didn't even raise his hand to answer questions in class like he normally does.

 _There's something going on._ I thought to myself, _B_ _ut what?_

When we got back to our dorm after classes, I asked him, "Hey, are you ok?" While putting my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He replied drily.

"Seriously, honey. What's wrong?" I asked him in all seriousness.

"I said I'm fine!" He exclaimed, clearly angry. He sat down on his bed and pulled out his laptop.

I stood there for a moment deciding what to do. I didn't want to make him angrier than he already was, but I also wanted to comfort him. I decided to comfort him.

"Talk to me." I said, walking over to his bed and sitting down next to him on his bed.

"I said that doing what we were still doing wouldn't work! I said it wouldn't work, and no one listened!" Alex yelled, and he started crying

"Ok, so that's why we're meeting tonight to figure out a new plan." I said calmly.

He just sat there for a few minutes, breathing heavily. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and leaned into him, trying to comfort him as much as possible. I looked over at his face and saw tears streaming down it. I kissed them away.

"Thank you." He said when he calmed down. "That's really what in needed, I guess."

"Of course." I smiled, kissing him. Once we pulled away, he looked back at his laptop and started typing.

"What are you writing?" I asked.

"I'm coming up with a new plan." He stated, clearly engrossed in his work.

I looked over his shoulder at the screen. It read,

_New Hidden Relationship Plan_

_Since the previous plan was unsuccessful, a new one must be fabricated. These following points will outline this new plan._

_• The plan with be gradually eased into, so not to raise any suspicion_

_• Alexander and John must have no relations outside of their dorm room, physical or otherwise_

_• Lafayette will take only the side of Alexander in any and all arguments had_

_• Hercules will take only the side of John in any and all arguments had_

_• John and Hercules, and Alexander and Lafayette must sit on opposite sides of the lunch table_

_• John and Hercules, and Alexander and Lafayette must not sit together in classes_

_• There must be minimal conversation between Alexander and Hercules_

_• Lafayette and Hercules are mad at each other, but are still friends_

_• If Thomas provokes a fight, a fight must ensue between Alexander and John_

"Wow. You really thought this through." I said after he finished typing it up.

"Yeah. It just kind of all came to me once I started writing." Alex replied.

I kept my head on Alex's shoulder while he went through and checked all his spelling and grammar.

"You could just use spell check." I suggested.

"Yeah, but I catch stuff that that stupid program doesn't." He said.

"It's probably all correct anyway, knowing you." I laughed. I snuggled deeper into Alex, watching him work intently. It was fascinating how fast he could type.

"Yeah, your probably right." He smiled, leaning over to kiss me

XXX

Laf and Herc joined us in our dorm after dinner. Alex read off the plan to them once we were settled in. They were shocked when Alex finished.

"Dude, are you sure you want to do this? It's pretty intense." Herc said.

"Yes. We need to be more drastic." Alex said confidently.

"You know this might put a serious strain on your relationship... right?" Laf suggested carefully.

"We'll be fine." Alex said, almost automatically.

"Are you sure?" I whispered in his ear. "Saying these things could really be tough on us."

"Like I said, we'll be fine." Alex said, almost like he was trying to assure himself.

XXX

Alex's POV 

Laf and I went to breakfast the next morning, without talking to Herc and John. We sat down at one end of the table after getting our food, and they walked in and sat down a few minutes after. They started talking quietly, so I turned to Laf.

Before I could say anything, Thomas came over and sat down at our table.

"So, what are the bitches up to today? Did the fags get in a fight?" He joked.

"We're not fags." John said, and I saw an opportunity.

"I can defend myself!" I exclaimed across the table, looking at John.

"I was just making a truthful statement." John sneered, a little bit surprised by what I said.

"Well, next time, leave me out of your goddamn 'truthful statement'!" I exclaimed. Thomas, looking satisfied, got up and walked away.

"Fine!" He said, and turned to Herc and whispered something in his ear.

"How was that?" I whispered to Laf.

"Bon." He replied, thinking. "Just, next time, keep it going for a little bit after he walks away so that it looks more real."

"Ok." I replied, thinking over his advice.

John and Herc got up and threw out their food, and went back into the hall, not giving Laf or I a single glance.

No matter how fake I knew that reaction was, I still felt a pang in my chest when he walked away like that. It hurt me to even _think_ that John hates me, even if it's just for show.

"Ca va être bien." Laf said, putting his hand on my shoulder

 _Lafs right. It'll be ok..._ I thought to myself, taking a deep breath. _We just need to muscle through it, and we'll be fine... right?_


	19. Chapter 19

Alex's POV

During my last period gym class (aka my own personal hell) that I have with Thomas, he was smirking at me the entire time from across the room, almost begging me to go over there and confront him. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I walked over to him. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the locker room.

"Why have you been looking at me like that all of class?" I demanded once the door was closed.

"I know your little secret." He cooed to me like I was a baby.

"How many times do I have to tell you that John and I aren't together!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you still are. That fight today at breakfast? So fake." He said like a fifteen-year-old girl.

"Is that what you have. Are you done?" I said, annoyed.

"I'll tell you what." He started, sneering. "I won't tell anyone your little secret IF you and John break up. For real."

"Listen to me speak," I said, getting up in his face. "We. Are. Not. Together. Just leave it alone."

"Fine." He said. "But if I see anything that indicates that you're together, even a smile, I'm going to Johansson. Got it?" He asked.

"Fine." I said, still in his face.

Then the gym teacher walked in, and be and I scrambled backwards.

"Get back to class boys." He said, confused. He shrugged, then walked out. We followed him.

XXX

"Thomas knows." I said to John as soon as we were both back in our dorm.

"Knows what?" John asked, unconcerned.

"He knows that we're together." I explained. John whipped his head around and looked at me.

"What?" He exclaimed.

"He talked to me in gym class today. He said that he knows that we're together and that he's gonna tell Johansson if we don't break up for real." I explained.

"We'll work through it. Just like we always do." He said, coming over to me and running his hands up and down my arms. Then, he pulled my into a hug.

We stood there in the middle of the room hugging for a few minutes until Laf and Herc came bursting into the room. We pulled apart.

"Nous avons un probléme." Laf said frantically, and John looked over at me, confused.

"He said 'we have a problem.' What's up?" I asked.

"Thomas and his posse just came to our room. They said that they're going to tell Johansson about you two. Right now." Herc explained quickly.

"We need to stop him!" John exclaimed, grabbing my hand.

"We're they on their way there when they came and saw you?" I asked.

"They said they were going to slowly walk to take the scenic route down to the office, and then talk to her." Laf explained.

John looked thoughtful for a minute, then he said, "I have a plan."

"What?" I asked, turning to him.

"We wait somewhere in the hallway and do a fake breakup scene in front of them when they come over. Make it seem like we don't know that they're there and don't seem like we know anything." John explained.

"That might just work." Herc said, thinking.

"If we want to do this, we need to get down there right fucking now." I said, pulling John out of the door and down the hall.

XXX

John's POV

While Alex and I were running through the halls looking for a good spot, we came up with what we were going to say.

We found a good spot in an all but abandoned hallway that we knew Thomas and his posse would use.

"They're coming." Alex said once he heard them coming down the hall, and we started 'fighting'."

"Alex, this just isn't working." I said, taking a step back and looking at the floor.

"What do you mean?" He asked, moving closer to me.

"Look around!" I said, moving into the middle of the hall. "We go to a Christian school. We can't do this anymore."

"Oh come on. You and I both know we don't believe in that stuff. We need to stay strong. Like we said." Alex pleaded. I heard the footsteps in the hallway stop, so I raised my voice.

"Alex, I'm not doing this anymore! I can't deal with all the sneaking around and shit!" I exclaimed.

"But... but... don't you love me?" He questioned, looking terrified of my answer.

"No." I replied hardly. "Not anymore." I turned and walked in the opposite direction of Thomas, around a corner, and Alex started crying.

 _Wow._ I thought to myself. _He's a good actor._

Thomas walked back out into the hall and started slow clapping.

"What a great performance. Really. I almost believed it." He sneered. "You can come back now John."

I walked back around the corner. Alex was wiping away his fake tears, and looked pissed.

"Don't think I'm not still going to Johansson, because I am." He mused, then walked away towards the office. His posse followed him.

I walked over to Alex. "What are we going to do?" I asked.

"I... I don't know." He replied.

We stood in the hallway for a few minutes in silence. Then, Thomas walked back out of the principal's office with a smug look on his face.

"Good luck." He sneered, and his friends snickered.

Then, Johansson walked out of her office and into the hallway. She looked around for a few seconds before seeing us.

Then, she looked us dead in the eyes and said, "Boys, I need to speak to both of you."


	20. Chapter 20

John's POV

We followed Johansson into her office and sat down in the chairs across from her desk.

"Mr. Jefferson has brought to my attention that you two have been engaging in homosexual activities." She started. "I would like to give you two the benefit of the doubt, since I know you two boys are well behaved. If what Mr. Jefferson has said is false, now is your chance to tell me before this gets out of hand."

Alex and I just sat there in silence, looking at the floor.

"Is what he said true?" She asked. "Let me remind you that this is an offense punishable by expulsion." She added.

We stayed silent, not sure what to do. Finally, Alex spoke.

"We're sorry, Ms. Johansson." Was all he could muster.

"If you're not going to deny it, I have no choice but to expel you." She reminded us.

"We can't deny it. Because it's true." I said. There was no point in hiding it anymore.

"Then you boys pack your things. I will call your parents to come and pick you up in the morning. You're expelled." She said firmly.

We got up from our seats and ran back to our dorm.

"What are we going to go?" I asked while packing my stuff. "We can't let them split us up."

"I don't know. I don't think there's much we can do." Alex said, defeated.

We sat there for a few minutes, thinking. Then, smithing came to me.

"We could run." I exclaimed.

"John..." Alex started.

"No! Seriously!" I started. "We pack our stuff, sneak out, rent a car, and get out of here! Neither of us have anything we would be leaving behind, so let's just go, while we still can."

Alex lit up. We both ran and started packing.

"Wait. What about Laf and Herc?" Alex suggested.

"Oh, god. I have no idea." I said.

"We should at least leave them a note." Alex said, then grabbed a piece of paper. We started writing.

Once we were done, I read over it to make sure it was perfect.

_Dear Herc and Laf,_

_Thomas told Johansson, and we were expelled. We have to run. We're so sorry we're leaving you, and that we can't tell you what we're doing. We don't want you to get into any more trouble than you may or may not be in because of us. We're so sorry, and we hope we get to see you again someday._

_We will miss you,_

_John and Alex_

We slipped it under the door to their dorm once everyone was asleep. Then, we came up with our plan.

"And this is definitely what we want to do?" Alex confirmed once we finished scheming.

"Yes." I said, and looked at the clock. "And we need to go now if we want to get out of town before daybreak."

Alex grabbed the cash box from under his bed, and we both grabbed our last few belongings, then we snuck out of the school through the cafeteria, and ran across town to the car rental place. When we got there, it was deserted because of the late hour.

"Hello, boys." The man behind the counter smiled when we walked in. "How may I help you?"

Alex walked up to the counter and said, "We would like to rent a car please."

"Ok. License please." He said, and we just stood there staring at each other.

Alex reaches into his pocket and pulled out a New York drivers license.

"When did you get that?" I asked.

"Last year on my birthday, Laf and Herc took me to get it so that I would have it just in case I needed it." He explained.

"Here you go. That will be seventy-five dollars." The man said, handing back the license and a set of car keys. Alex handed him the amount in cash, and we went out to our rental.

We got in, and Alex asked, "So where are we going?"

"Somewhere outside of New York." I answered. "Philadelphia, maybe."

"Yeah. That sounds good." He answered, and turned the ignition in the car.

"This is crazy." I said once we were on the road.

"I know." Alex laughed. "We're never going to be able to come back here."

"Yeah." I answered.

While we drove, we worked out the little details of what we were going to do once we got there. We would live in a small, cheap place just outside of the city. We would both get jobs and save as much as we could so we could buy a car. We would both do online school to finish our high school educations. We would cut ALL contact with our parents and family members. We both left our phones at the school so they couldn't track them. We would start over. Maybe, just maybe, we could pull this off.

We drove through New Jersey and into Pennsylvania. Once we got there, we checked into a cheap motel and Alex went to return the car. While he was doing that, I walked to the drug store a few blocks down the road and bought two cheap flip phones.

"How much money do you have left?" I asked Alex once we were both back at the motel.

"One thousand seven hundred fifty-nine dollars." Alex answered.

"Geez. You weren't kidding when you said you were saving." I replied.

Alex started changing into his pajamas, and that's when I noticed that it was already nine o'clock.

"Wow. This day flew." I said, and I changed, too. We both layed down in the bed in the middle of the room. Alex laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"I just realized this will be the first time we sleep in a bed together." He replied.

I thought about it for a minute. "I guess so." I laughed.

We stayed up talking for hours that night, until we finally fell asleep around midnight.


	21. Chapter 21

Laf's POV

I woke up the next morning and got up to turn on the lights. I stepped on a piece of paper in front of the door. I picked it up and read it. It said,

_Dear Herc and Laf,_

_Thomas told Johansson, and we were expelled. We have to run. We're so sorry we're leaving you, and that we can't tell you what we're doing. We don't want you to get into any more trouble than you may or may not be in because of us. We're so sorry, and we hope we get to see you again someday._

_We will miss you,_

_John and Alex_

I woke up Herc and showed him the note.

"John and Alex left!" I exclaimed while shoving the note in his face.

He read the note, then looked up at me, horrified.

"There's nothing we can do about it now." He said.

"Maybe we could call them, or..." I started.

"I don't think we can. They made it sound like they wouldn't be able to contact us." Herc explained.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, frantic.

"How about we go to breakfast. It's already seven-thirty." Herc said, grabbing his clothes and going into the bathroom.

XXX

We sat in silence at breakfast. People were whispering and giving us weird looks. The news of Alex and John's _predicament_ got around, apparently.

We went to homeroom and sat down in our normal seats.

"Mr. Lafayette, Mr. Mulligan, Ms. Johansson want to see you." Eliza said when the bell rang. We grabbed our stuff and began the long walk to the principal's office.

When we got there, we saw Alex's Aunt and a man and a woman that must be John's parents in the waiting area. Johansson's secretary let us into her office, and we sat down.

"I understand you two were very close with Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Laurens." She said when we sat down.

"Oui." I answered.

"Do you know anything about where they went?" She asked, getting right to the point.

"We got a note from them this morning saying that they ran. It didn't say where or when. Just that they left and they're not coming back. We haven't had any contact with them since." Herc explained. I pulled the note out of my pocket and handed it to her. She read it and handed it back to us.

"Did you two know anything about their activities?" She asked.

"You mean their real, true, loving relationship?" I said. She cringed at the word relationship. "Yes. We knew. We protected them. Since we're not homophobic assholes like you."

"And that's a detention for you, Mr. Lafayette." She said, offended.

Herc gave me a look and said, "We told you everything we know. Can we go?"

"Go sit in the waiting area. I want to talk to the boy's parents, and then talk to you two again." She said. We walked out, and Alex and John's parents walked in. We sat down, and listened closely to what was going on inside the office.

"How could you let this happen?" A man, John's dad, yelled.

"Mr. Laurens, we are doing everything we can to find your son." Johansson replied.

"What on earth possessed you to let my son be near that boy? Clearly, he's an awful influence! He pressured my son into doing things he clearly didn't want to do!"

"Mr. Laurens, if I may, the boys ran away together. They wouldn't do that unless they wanted to be together. They would've stayed if they didn't." Alex's Aunt said.

"Are you accusing my son of being... one of... _them?"_ John's Dad was baffled.

"Mr. Laurens, please calm down." Johansson tried.

"I'm going to sue this school, and everyone in it!" He exclaimed.

The secretary got up from her desk and led us out of the room. "You two shouldn't be hearing this."

She led us out into the hallway, and told us to go back to class. We went through all our morning classes, then went up to Alex and John's dorm during lunch.

When we opened the door, we saw a ransacked room. They clearly left in a hurry. The only personal belongings left were their phones.

"Bonne baise." I gaped.

"I know." Herc agreed.

We looked around the room for any clue that they might have left behind of where they were going. We found nothing. They took everything with them. We even searched through their phones. There was absolutely nothing.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Herc asked.

"Je ne sais pas." I answered, unable to form English words. I was too confused.

We stood there in their room until we heard the bell ring for the next period. We had no idea what to do.

XXX

Johansson talked to us again that afternoon after classes, and she gave us both a month of detention for knowing about Alex and John and not reporting it. We knew it was going to be hell, but we also knew we did the right thing by hiding their secret. Thomas never talked to us again. He had no reason to, since they were gone. We knew that we might someday see Alex and John again, but that they were leading a better life wherever they had ran off to. We would miss them, but it was for the best.


	22. Epilogue

John's POV

I grabbed a cake from the cooler at the grocery store and put gave it to the lady behind the counter.

"Could you write _Happy 20th Birthday Alex_ on it, please?" I asked.

"Of course." She responded.

Alex and I had lived in Philadelphia for four years now. We both got jobs and finished up school, and now we were living in a really nice apartment and have a dog. We reconnected with Laf and Herc as soon as they graduated, and they ended up both going to colleges in Philly. Laf at Drexel and Herc at U Penn. John and I both take classes at Philly community since we couldn't afford anything else.

"Here you go." She said, handing the cake back to me over the counter.

"Thanks." I replied, going to the checkout.

While I was driving home, I lamented the last four years of my life. We ran away together, and never looked back. We've been happy. We love each other, and our relationship has gone on without a hitch.

When I got home, I pet our dog, Turtle, on the head, and went to finish setting up Alex's surprise party.

There was a knock at the door, and Laf walked in. "No need to fear. We have arrived." He announced, and Herc rolled his eyes.

"Perfect timing." I said. "I was just about to start putting up decorations."

XXX

Alex's POV

I got off work at six, then drove home. My boss drained me today, and I just wanted a nice birthday dinner with John.

"Surprise!" John, Laf, and Herc exclaimed when I walked in the door of our apartment.

"Wow! Thanks, guys!" I said, and walked over and kissed John. Laf whistled, and Herc rolled his eyes.

Herc grabbed a box that was on the counter next to him and held it out to me. I took it, smiled, and opened it. It was a new fountain pen.

"This is awesome!" I exclaimed. "Thanks, Herc!"

"I didn't have time to wrap it." Laf said, handing me a box of five-hour energy drinks.

"Thanks, Laf. You know I have to live with him, right?" John laughed.

"What? I thought it would be a good... how you say... gag gift." He replied.

I think turned to John, who was holding out a gift bag. I unwrapped it to find a frame.

"It's an original copy of one of the federalist papers." He explained, and I smiled.

"I love it." I said. "And I love you." I kissed him.

I turned around and saw Laf lighting the candles on a cake.

"Who wants cake?" He asked.

XXX

"Thank you for coming!" I exclaimed as Laf and Herc left.

"Now that they're gone..." John started, and I pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. He was a little surprised at first, then he leaned into it. He wrapped his legs around my waist and we walked over to the bed.

XXX

"I think that was the best we've done since we first met." John said when we finally finished, like, four hours later.

"You mean that time we snuck out to the old building and we were _really loud_?" I asked.

"Yeah." He laughed.

I rolled over and turned to him.

"You know, sometimes I miss that." I said.

"What? The sneaking around?" He asked, turning to me.

"Yeah. It was sexy." I said. "I do love this, though. Not needing to hide, being ourselves... no Thomas Jefferson."

"Ugh! He was the worst!" John exclaimed. Then, Turtle ran into the bedroom and jumped up on the bed, living both our faces, effectively killing the mood.

"Turtle!" John exclaimed.

We pushed him off the bed then looked in each other's eyes for a few minutes.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you more." John smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read this story! It’s a relatively old one that I just made a few edits to before posting on a new platform, but I hope you could all enjoy it anyway.
> 
> Kudos/comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Kisses!
> 
> Love, Lilluv


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